Addictions are pernicious and do take over the lives of addicts. If someone you know or love is an addict. Beware. Tread carefully. It is easy to forget in the laughter. The sweet nature of who they really are is down there somewhere but the addiction hangs around like an overstaying guest. If the addict is you, really do see to it. The first step is always to become aware of it and and how it is affecting yours and others lives; then taking the steps to make it more and more conscious. If it is someone you love, a friend, relative, your partner, your child. It takes a lot out of you. From all the many people I have met, that tends to be harder then if the addict is yourself. We can sometimes get used and addicted to the addict remaining an addict. An addict is always dependent. Never free. The addiction takes a lot of time out of their lives, finding the cash, the search for the object, the secrecy and hiding, the relationship with others who maintain it; all adds to a way of behaviour which keeps it oscillating.
It is a tough journey. Psychosocial education, going cold turkey, figuring out what you have avoided feeling, making up for lost time and learning. The older, the more mistakes have been made; so the more regrets will pop up. Spend your money on your Rehab and not just your addiction. It is interesting how people prefer to spend money and time on their addiction rather then on kicking it. It can cost more to kick it and to clean up all the relationship mess left behind too (divorce, unfinished degrees, neglected children, family fall-outs, job stagnation). Just do it. Go to your Doctors, go through the hoop of medical establishments.
There is no pride in an addiction. If you have the money, go to a good rehab place. There is a great place in South Africa I have known people go to. It’s a good Rehab place because unlike some Rehab places I know, it really is tough love and they do not let you go out during the day unaccompanied to maintain your habit. They are tough on you and in the world of Addicts – forget politically correct; politically correct does not exist. Go to support groups. Be honest. (No one lies like an addict does). Stop pretending it does not exist. I won’t. Please don’t. It will not suddenly go away like magic. Never trust an addict. Its the addiction that speaks so well. The addict cannot really trust themselves so why should anyone else? Lies are a speciality. I dont know about you, but I believe them everytime, then catch myself later on suddenly questioning what was said. So very much later on. Love them to bits though…..A few people I know are going through the process through their addiction and my thoughts are often of them in this challenging time. Its tough not being able to even trust yourself.
©2011 Yaz
Dr Yaz Headley 