Category Archives: Relationship

Brandgelina, separation, divorce and forming new patterns.

couplesBrad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be getting a divorce. I am sad about that. The dream couple and family. I think that is sad.

I often talk about warning signs with my clients.

In show-business, it often does not pay to make films together especially if the movie they are in is about a relationship. No matter how far apart a relationship may be from their own, it is inevitable for their own relationship to seep into a film and vice versa. Relationships that lasted a long time in the industry did so when they were not in the same business.

Children: No matter how much money a person has – time is at a premium and children will take time away from the couple. If both have busy careers, it is best to have fewer children.

Their parent’s history: Did their parents have a happy marriage? Did they ever divorce?

What is their relationship with their parents now? How are they with their parents? With others?

What is their history? Did they have a happy childhood? How did they spend their time?

People often bring their own past with them into their intimate relationships. If it was bad, when stressed this will come out and haunt them even more unless they have done some work to look into it.

At the first level, (once we have grown up and left home) we have a relationship with ourselves. At the second level we have a relationship with our significant other. How we are with ourselves, we also are with others.

When in love and or lust, when we meet someone we like, the chemicals overflow and our brains and minds just drown in it. We are unable to think clearly. It is at this time we usually ignore the warning signs. In time reality can set in, and the person we think was right at first, may not be right. Some can tell if a person is right for them on first meeting them. But usually, we need some time to find this out.

In my work with clients, I help them figure out the relationship they have with themselves, then to next work out their relationships with others. From then on, we look to make new patterns. This will take time. It has taken us a life-time to make the patterns that we use now. In a much shorter time, we can change them and set new ones.

We are complicated as individuals and as a couple we become something even more complicated. Before getting into a relationship – start to notice the warning signs. Don’t ignore them……

I am still sad though….and wish warning signs did not exist….

©2016 Yasmin

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Filed under Celebrities, Patterns, Relationship, Relationship Patterns, Thinking Patterns

The secret to a long and happy marriage

FlowersI have been watching with interest a Wedding of a relative recently. There is so much that goes into a wedding. They have planners at the hotel, then you have to plan things alongside them and the florists, the church, the registry, the reception, the dinner, the band and music. Cakes are especially purchased. In the same way cup cakes were branded by Lola’s, wedding cakes are also branded. So and so used this person to make their cake. It is not a simple unbranded thing – a cake.

Then there is the location, is it going to be in a Church? an Abbey? or a registry wedding?. Choice of hats; I was told hats are often worn. I went looking for hats and found a very scant selection at Marks and Spencer, Debenhams, Fenwicks and John Lewis up at Oxford Street. Hats used to have nearly a whole area of a  store assigned to them. Then there is even insurance for a cancelled wedding. There are so many programmes on TV about weddings. I remember weddings being much simpler and less complicated. Continue reading

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Filed under Health, Money, Relationship, Relationship Patterns

Happy Birthday to you this Christmas

Tree

Christmas started in the shops at the end of October. Shops were crowded with people buying gifts. Then there are the boxing-day sales due tomorrow.

Today though is Christmas. Christmas is such an interesting time. It brings out so many different and varied feelings in different people. The basic message though for Christians is about Christ who was born, the message he brought the world and the gift of his life for mans salvation.

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Cruise and Holmes impending divorce news and How to Have a Happy Marriage

I was so sad to hear today of Tom Cruise’s and Katie Holmes’s impending divorce. Someone I know was working at a recent film premier of his in London and said how he spent hours talking and taking pictures with his fans. She said he seemed to really care for people and was very professional. Their divorce though made me think a little.

I am always sad when people divorce because I believe in doing as much as possible by planning ahead – even before the marriage. If you have been divorced before or never married then plan well ahead and read on….if you have been divorced before…learn to forgive yourself. If you are married to someone you feel is not right for you…also forgive yourself. Just being married does not mean all is well. Learning lessons is always difficult when we do not forgive ourselves. It is always easy to make errors. Continue reading

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Filed under Psychology, Relationship, Relationship Patterns

Getting Close without getting lost in a committed relationship?

I have invited Mara Fisher of http://www.BridgeofLife.com from the US to guest blog on my blog for your pleasure: below is a blog piece…Mara is a very experienced and wise therapist..

Getting close without getting lost while in a committed relationship?

Ever wonder how to know if you are being intrusive? It is much easier to get when someone else is being intrusive. Sometimes that can be confusing as well.

When we are in a committed relationship our confusion with boundaries becomes most evident. It can be quite confusing. Is it okay if I tell my partner what I think? Will I be invading their space? How come I get upset when my partner tells me what he/she thinks? If I want something done a certain way am I invading my partners boundaries. These questions can go on and on. Understanding our own boundaries is quite complex and worth the effort.

I have noticed that all working relationships have some degree of haze surrounding the boundaries of the persons within it. Relationships are alive and the people in them often overlap in order to achieve comfortable levels of intimacy. Relationships take on a life of their own separate and apart from the I or the you.

The question many of us ask, is how can I tell if I am getting lost within the life of my relationship? And yet some of us do keep our sense of self and do not get lost in the forest of our relationship. While others forget to leave breadcrumbs when they go into a relationship and so they get lost. Continue reading

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The Royal Wedding and Relational Happiness

Royal Wedding - Wills and Kate

We have a Royal wedding coming up. The Royal Wedding of Prince William and Katherine Middleton. There might be a few out there who know nothing about it and have no access to the press or media but it is estimated a billion people will watch it.

Alexa at the Photoshoot

Last weekend, I was at a photo shoot of someone wearing a wedding dress. It was eerie seeing someone dressed in a wedding dress with deer in the background, sun streaming and no groom in sight. I expected people to be stand-offish but instead found people really friendly with the ‘bride’. There does seem to be happiness around weddings and what they promise. A wedding dress seems to have brought a smile to some of the people there.


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Filed under Politics, Psychology, Relationship