The secret to a long and happy marriage

FlowersI have been watching with interest a Wedding of a relative recently. There is so much that goes into a wedding. They have planners at the hotel, then you have to plan things alongside them and the florists, the church, the registry, the reception, the dinner, the band and music. Cakes are especially purchased. In the same way cup cakes were branded by Lola’s, wedding cakes are also branded. So and so used this person to make their cake. It is not a simple unbranded thing – a cake.

Then there is the location, is it going to be in a Church? an Abbey? or a registry wedding?. Choice of hats; I was told hats are often worn. I went looking for hats and found a very scant selection at Marks and Spencer, Debenhams, Fenwicks and John Lewis up at Oxford Street. Hats used to have nearly a whole area of a  store assigned to them. Then there is even insurance for a cancelled wedding. There are so many programmes on TV about weddings. I remember weddings being much simpler and less complicated.

There is a basic necessity though that needs to exist for the marriage to last. Contrary to popular opinion, it is not love. According to various pieces of ‘research’, and the popular media, it is often love which is presented as necessary for marriage to last. Others would say it is money as money is often the basis of many arguments which couples have. But the real kicker is that it is none of those. I remember a couples expert once telling me about the secret magic ingredient, the long-term magic ingredient. Something they never write about in the books –  it is respect. That is so true. Once respect goes, it is hard to get back. If trust is broken, if it goes out the window – then so does respect. Respect….who would have thought that? That vow, that promise; to love, honour and respect.

©2013 Yaz

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Filed under Health, Money, Relationship, Relationship Patterns

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