I have invited Mara Fisher of http://www.BridgeofLife.com from the US to guest blog on my blog for your pleasure: below is a blog piece…Mara is a very experienced and wise therapist..
Getting close without getting lost while in a committed relationship?
Ever wonder how to know if you are being intrusive? It is much easier to get when someone else is being intrusive. Sometimes that can be confusing as well.
When we are in a committed relationship our confusion with boundaries becomes most evident. It can be quite confusing. Is it okay if I tell my partner what I think? Will I be invading their space? How come I get upset when my partner tells me what he/she thinks? If I want something done a certain way am I invading my partners boundaries. These questions can go on and on. Understanding our own boundaries is quite complex and worth the effort.
I have noticed that all working relationships have some degree of haze surrounding the boundaries of the persons within it. Relationships are alive and the people in them often overlap in order to achieve comfortable levels of intimacy. Relationships take on a life of their own separate and apart from the I or the you.
The question many of us ask, is how can I tell if I am getting lost within the life of my relationship? And yet some of us do keep our sense of self and do not get lost in the forest of our relationship. While others forget to leave breadcrumbs when they go into a relationship and so they get lost.
What prevents us from maintaining our identity in a relationship? Perhaps we did not have a clear sense of self when we went into a relationship and so the relationship became whom we are. It is possible to loose your sense of self-while in relationship if you are trying to accommodate the other person.
It may be time for you to look for your I.
In all relationships there is some melding of identity. Understanding and knowing your own boundaries will allow you to know yourself and who your partner is with clarity.
©2012 Mara in Yaz Blog.