Christmas and Domestic Abuse.
Christmas is often a time for the family to get together, a time of cheer and joy. What happens though if the family is an abusive one? One where domestic abuse occurs. Often such a season is one where there are high levels of stress. Buying a gift in such families is one where there is a lot of resentment. If the gift is not liked and the person is abusive, sarcastic comments may ensue. The sit down dinner can be one of intense stress. A meal that is not ‘perfectly’ done can find itself thrown against the wall. Plates shattered and on the floor. Meal times can be one of pure home and domestic terrorism. In the UK a new domestic abuse law has been announced – that of ‘coercive and controlling behaviour’. You don’t have to suffer physical pain to experience domestic abuse, it can also be psychological.
Christmas dinner can be the worse of all meals. Then there is the added financial stress that adds even more to the domestic terrorism that can go on within a household. People needing to walk around on eggshells for fear of ‘provoking’ an outburst by even the most mildest of comments or ‘looks’. Often those who grow up in domestic abuse also continue to marry and partner with future domestic abusers. The lessons start now. Look at where you are. Who you are with? Where do you want to go? Do you have an escape plan? How is money? Is there someone you can discuss this with? Therapy to stop this constant re-enactment? How do we break free of such abuse?
If you are the abuser; then get help, find a therapist. Such behavior does not only stay at home but it also can follow you in work. Abuse does not just stop in one area and only stay there. It affects your whole life. It affects your children and those around you. It tortures your own mind too.
Therapy for abuse is long-term work. There are no short cuts. It took a long time to work into your life and will take a long time to work out of it. If you want peace, a world that is completely different to the one you are in now. Maybe its time to plan for a better Christmas? No one ever has to live with abuse but it does take steps to start moving away from it. This time of the internet provides a wide range of resources to start your journey. Remember, no one ever needs to live in abuse but to live out of it requires that step of a thousand steps.
I wish all (if not now) then the promise of a Merry and Peaceful Christmas.
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/
©2014 Yasmin
Dr Yaz Headley 